A little full-circle story

I have this story I've been contemplating lately… It's actually true events from my life, not a story like a fairy tale :) But maybe it holds a lesson that I need to sit with again. Perhaps it holds a lesson that could resonate with you, too. 

A handful of years ago, I found myself standing at the edge of a new life for myself. I was ready to step onto my path as a home birth midwife after 2 years of midwifery school and 3 years of (slow) apprenticeship with my mentor. 

My mentor had moved away, I graduated midwifery school, and I was itching to begin my own practice in my little sleepy mountain desert town of Sedona. 

The only thing was, my mentor, this woman who I had learned from so intensely over the previous 3 years, who I had honestly idolized in so many ways… told me I wasn't ready. She didn't want me to start my own practice yet. 

I was torn between accepting what this outside person shared with me about myself… or stepping into full trust of my inner knowing that it was time for me to expand in this way. 

I felt like I was at a crossroads, and as much as I wanted to hold onto the safety of more years of apprenticeship to gain enough experience for my idol to feel I was ready, I also knew deep down that I was being actively called into service by my inner knowing and by the community of women who were asking me to walk with them in their pregnancy and birth experiences already. 

As much as I really wanted to FLY into my calling, FINALLY, of midwife, there was a part of me that really resisted it, too. I was afraid of what would happen if I fully stepped into my own power and took that leap. 

One day, I had a conversation with another elder mentor of mine, who said something that shifted everything for me: “You can't receive the gifts that are waiting for you until you make the space for them. That means trusting that your next step is already supported. So, stop being so MEEK.” (LOL, she actually called me meek in a really sassy wise Trinidadian accent, to my FACE… I'll never forget it.) 

It was such a simple thing, but it hit me hard, in that moment. 

It made me realize that the universe wasn't just whispering louder and louder within me for no reason… the universe wasn't bringing more women into my path who were actively asking me to serve as their midwife for no reason… 

These were signs, opportunities, and I was really struggling to claim them. 

If I wasn't ready to take the leap, how could I expect the leap to take me to my future vision of myself as a full-blown midwife serving my community? 

That's when I decided to take that step, to say yes… and everything changed in my life from that moment forward. 

The thing is, we are all crossroads in our lives, almost all the time in different ways. Especially when we are on this path of growth and self-realization. We're given opportunities to step into new paths, and sometimes (if you're like me), we hesitate because of fear or uncertainty. 

But… what if we leaned into that fear and took that giant leap more often? 

What would life look like and feel like? If we built the capacity within ourselves to be able to handle that sort of trust and confidence?