The Path Of Pleasure + Purification

Purification is kind of a cringe-word for me. I have too much awareness of the divinity of humans to truly believe we are inherently impure.

What does feel true to me, from my own experience, though, is that life is cyclical.

Our culture seems to lose sight of that pretty often. Through the lens of capitalism, we were made to believe that “summer” or “happiness/pleasure” are what we must cling to.

Let me back up a little bit…

In most traditional cultures or belief systems, like Taoism and First Nations American, most earth-based peoples, we see that they really value and honor the cyclical nature of life.

Humans are not separate from Nature, so it makes sense that we would all be cyclical beings, just like nature.. that we would thrive if we honored the season in which we find ourselves instead of working against it or wishing ourselves into another season instead.

Fall is about celebrating what was, releasing the past, shedding skins, grieving, letting go, and mostly making space through that release for newness to come in at a later point.

Winter is about deep regeneration through stillness, honoring rest, stepping into the yin-ness of life, the mystery, the darkness, the silence. Out of this nothingness, everything will be born, and everything that is required for spring to be built upon, is being laid foundationally below the surface.

Spring is a time of endless possibilities, bubbling up, taking off, falling in love, youthfulness, aliveness, maidenhood.

Summer is when fruition takes place, it is the peak experience in whatever realm of life we try to align with, the full blossoming of whatever it is we have desired and planted seeds for.

Our culture tends to be Summer-obsessed, to the point that it becomes painful for folks who find themselves in the darkness of winter, or in the shedding of fall.

We don’t realize that as we fixate energetically on summer, or on the peak experiences of life… happiness, joy, expansion, growth… we drain energy from our lived experience and we actually keep ourselves from getting to the fullness of summer.

We try to pause the cycle and hold onto summer, over and over again, and by doing so we don’t allow the regeneration cycle to occur… no fertilizer, no compost, no rest, no space created to get to the next summer.

So, how does this relate to pleasure and purification?

I hope you can see that these concepts are cyclical as well.

When we speak our desires into creation, when we step onto a new path, when we decide, for example, to be a mother, to thrive, to experience oneness with God/Goddess, to love another as deeply as we can, to love ourselves…

Our bodies and minds and energetic fields respond with “Great! Let’s do it! Let me show you all the pieces that are keeping you from that desire!”

Through this lens, the parts of ourselves that are “false” or not in alignment with our true essence.. usually these parts are due to trauma or false programs…  are needing purification.

We are not saying these parts are bad or wrong… we are not shaming what comes up in the process of purification… It’s just about whether these pieces belong in this now moment, or not.

Harmony vs disharmony.

Our psyches and our bodies and minds desire wholeness, they WANT to heal, they LOVE it! They try to achieve it in whatever way necessary.

Anything that is not in alignment with our original essence or our true desires, will be naturally pushed up to the surface to be expelled or integrated. This often feels overwhelming, unless we can switch to being curious about it instead of drowning in it. We often shame these parts as “not acceptable” or “not truly me.” Which in a sense, is true.

These parts aren’t in alignment with our Truth, or True Essence, but they don’t need to be shamed or covered in guilt for existing.. they need space to be seen and expressed.

It can feel like a dark and lonely time, especially if we don’t have support.

I find that in my experience with women and mothers, in particular, they need a lot of support during these transitions. Women who feel depressed in pregnancy or motherhood or both, are often in a cycle of purification. The desire can be to shame or suppress these parts that show themselves, mostly due to the cultural constructs and programs we have about what motherhood should look and feel like. Women tend to feel we/they should actually be feeling happy, blissful, satisfied, on path (which some women actually DO experience during this time, but not all, by far)… which is wishing to be experiencing a different season.

The shaming and the suppression and the pushing back down only creates bigger and bigger and more complex expressions in the future, of this same energy. And in the meantime leaves numbness, disconnection, confusion, or habituated addictive behaviors as a layer over the top. We can also start to feel unwell or dis-eased from this suppression.

When we can actually, instead, create space for the purification, allowing what wants to come up to do so by using sound, movement, breath, etc.. We can bring loving consciousness to these parts of us… We can honor them. We can express them. And we can then make a choice to move toward our desires.

Normalizing the path of purification, the seasons of fall/winter, as a necessary part of the journey of life, of motherhood, of spiritual growth… by stepping back to see the bigger perspective and then journeying THROUGH instead of getting stuck in purification, we can make it just a tiny bit easier for those who aren’t used to experiencing these purification/fall/winter transitions.

It takes a lot of support, a lot of community, a lot of normalization.

These parts of us that show up after taking on a new identity, archetype, or path/desire WANT to feel seen and they WANT us to complete the stress cycle.

They aren’t asking us get stuck or frozen in the story of how those pieces got there or what they mean, even… Though for many people (myself included) that is part of the journey as well… They are asking us for expression out of the body/mind/energy field.

They are asking for conscious presence in the witnessing of them and that process of expression.

And they are asking us to keep choosing thriving, pleasure, love, joy, expansion.

Summer and spring are part of the environment after we choose to thrive, after we create space by expressing these parts that want to be purified in winter and fall.

Creating space in your life for purification will help complete the stress cycles and help the nervous system to feel safe and calm, partially from the expression and partially due to the fact that you are accepting these parts that are bubbling up to be seen and integrated.

Purification happens so we can get back to pleasure, thriving, joy, happiness.

I see and feel that we are all moving toward an acceptance and an honoring of the cyclical nature of what it means to be a human in this life/reality/world. :)

Once we begin the process of purification and get the major storehouse of energy we have been carrying around most of our life expressed, the process of purification typically needs to happen less and less frequently. This is why it can be earth-shatteringly challenging to become a mother the first time, but then by the third time it’s old hat and we can flow through more easily :)

Though there can be different types of purification that need to occur moving forward as well, such as collective, archetypal, ancestral, etc.. I’ve had my fair share of nausea and coughing/hacking/purging/screaming/breathing stuff up that seems to come from nowhere and leave just as quickly as it came IF I give myself permission to express it in the moment.

(Sidenote: I loved when my Shipibo maestros expressed how weird it is that western folks have such issues/resistance with purging, in ceremony or out of it. They were burping, farting, spitting, coughing, hacking, vomiting, etc, whenever they needed to. They were releasing energy that needed to be expressed, in each moment, in ceremony or out of it (life is ceremony, ceremony is life) as the amazing healers that they were/are! We westerners have stifled a big part of the purification process by being “proper” or only purifying in “socially acceptable” ways, like in somatic healing sessions with trained facilitators (wink, poking fun at myself here because I am a trained somatic healing facilitator haha).)

The transition to motherhood/parenthood is one of the most major life experiences we have in our modern culture in order for these parts and pieces to come up to the surface for expression.

Maiden to Mother or Bachelor to Father are major life transitions, major shifts onto new pathways, major choices to shift onto a different level of human experience!  

Normalizing the seasonal shifts that go along with these transitions, and creating containers, practices, rituals, and space for this purification process while held by folks who may be further down the same path as you, can be so supportive.

Trust me, you’re not alone in your experience. :)

Are you feeling this purification, winter, fall energy in your own life? It seems so many of us are right now…

If so, please reach out if you want!

I’m working on organizing an online offering that can act as a space for purification while also being a space for choosing what we actually desire to feel and experience, concurrently! I’d love your input on this if you have thoughts. Respond to this email to let me know if a monthly or twice-monthly online circle of support sounds like something you’d love to be a part of :)

And I’d love to support you 1:1 as well if that feels like it is aligned :)

Blessings on your journeys, family!

In Gratitude & Service,

Ashley