“I looked sad. I was sad. I didn’t want to look sad anymore.”

People don’t want to be “the sad friend.” Women don’t want to look like they’re sad. We literally get surgeries and fillers and toxins put in our faces in order to remove the emotion we carry there. 

(Seriously, no shame at all.. I think women should do whatever they want with their bodies but I also have my own perspectives on the cultural foundation that underlies a lot of the thoughts that underlie a lot of the choices to alter our bodies. I never advocate for shaming women for their choices, but I do advocate working to create a new aligned culture that gives rise to different thoughts and emotions and actions and realities.)

We don’t like to be in sadness and we definitely don’t like to seem externally like we’re sad, even if it’s writhing there right under the surface.

Sometimes this is due to lack of capacity. Sometimes due to capitalism. Sometimes due to programming from family of origin. Fill in the blank. 

But… 

Can we all take a moment right now to make a commitment to ourselves and each other that we CAN be the sad friend? We can be sad. We can look sad. We can express sadness in all the “ugly” ways it needs to be expressed. 

(It's not actually ugly at all, btw.)

And if you don’t have friends who can support you in that (and I think you’ll be surprised that many who you thought couldn’t, can.. and some you thought could, can’t..) you can keep those friends but maybe find some supplemental friends who have that capacity.

(These will become your new best friends.)

Or hire someone who DEFINITELY has that capacity. To hold you in your sadness. To witness your sadness and not try to positive-think-silver-lining you out of it.

Someone you can be with as you’re sad, who can look at the tears falling down your cheeks and who you’ll NEVER feel like you need to say, “Gosh, I’m sorry, I told myself I wouldn’t cry today.”

Someone who is unconditional loving acceptance. Embodied.

Who knows sadness is one of the purest gateways to compassion and joy.

So you don’t have to lock your sadness up in a little box inside of yourself to be in the world.

You won’t have to freeze your facial expression in order to make everyone else comfortable.

Because eventually it will cause issues in your body and the way you relate to the world, if you keep your sadness frozen and small, hidden somewhere deep deep deep inside.

I’ve talked with three different clients in the last two weeks who are working on feeling more joy, abundance, or love in life through the portal of expressing sadness that has been locked away for years. (These are very connected!) 

And the reason it’s been locked away was because it wasn’t socially acceptablefor them to express it at the time.

They carried the program from long before the sad event occurred, that it’s not ok to be sad, to be grieving, to be functioning at a different capacity than “normal” as they navigated their recovery from a majorly, pivotally sad life event.

This suppression of their sadness affects the way they experience happiness and joy and abundance and love now.

They can’t access their full peace in life.

They thought they were making themselves better at the time by suppressing their emotions and putting on a brave face, without realizing the long term effects and the energetic toll it would take on them to keep their sadness tucked away inside, unfelt, unseen.

It takes a tremendous amount of resources to keep your emotions suppressed, whether you are consciously suppressing them or unconsciously.

This manifests as lack of energy, brain fog, overwhelm, attention issues, depression, anxiety, disconnection from the joy of life, and eventually can lead to physical dis-ease like heart palpitations, weight loss (with or without bloating), constantly being cold, fatigue, insomnia, nightmares..

If you’ve ever felt yourself stuck in burnout, upper limiting, a plateau, looping behaviors or negative thoughts, overwhelm, anxiety, or inability to take the next step in life…

My 1:1 coaching experiences are curated just for you.

We are combining somatic therapy, energy work, mindset restructuring, breathwork, nervous system repatterning, spiritual rituals, and more… to create the internal environment necessary for your core essence to resurface.

You’ll have the opportunity to be guided by me through specific practices to find your own stored emotions, whether you’re currently aware of exactly what they are, or you’re experiencing loops or physical dis-ease and you’re not quite sure where it’s coming from…

We will, together, find what’s been keeping you stuck, feel it, express it, dissolve it, and guide you back into remembrance of your power, creativity, will, and the authentic expression you need in order to show up to life feeling whole, balanced, and heart-centered.

I’m so excited to be in the room with all of the AMAZING people who are making this choice now, in this world, to do the kind of work that's necessary to expand …

We will transform into who we must be in order to create the world we must create.

And it starts with each of us as individuals taking one simple first step in that direction :)

Maybe this is your next step, too. :)