Spiritual Awakening Is Easy Alone. Integration Happens in Relationship.
Spiritual Awakening Can Be Blissful — Until You Re-Enter Human Life
Many people develop the capacity to access profound states of nondual awareness.
Moments of wordless presence. Spaciousness. Bliss. Deep containment. A sense of being held by something vast and intelligent.
On the meditation cushion, in the malloca, in nature, or in solitude, this can feel coherent and deeply satisfying.
And then… we return to ordinary life.
We speak. We work. We relate. We navigate conflict, intimacy, money, and responsibility. Language comes online. The mind activates. Old emotional patterns resurface.
Suddenly, it can feel like there are two versions of us:
one that knows deep peace and truth
and another that feels reactive, defended, or fragmented in daily interaction
This gap is one of the most common — and most frustrating — phases of the spiritual path.
Why Awakening Alone Doesn’t Equal Integration
Awakening experiences often arise in nonconceptual states — beyond thought, beyond language, beyond identity.
But daily life requires:
cognition
speech
role navigation
emotional responsiveness
relationship
Without integration, spiritual insight stays compartmentalized. It lives “up here” or “out there,” while our human self continues operating from older conditioning.
The flipping back and forth can be disorienting. Even painful.
Bliss alone is not enough if it cannot be lived.
Integration is the process of bringing awakened awareness into the nervous system, the psyche, the relational field, and the body, so there is one coherent self — not two alternating ones.
Integration Begins With Motive (A Classical Tantra Perspective)
In my lineage, integration hinges on a very specific foundation: motive.
Not all motives allow integration to complete.
The most effective — what we call pure motive — is something like:
“I am doing this work because I love myself, with a sincere desire to know the truth (whether it feels good or not), and for the benefit of all beings.”
This motive creates the conditions for real digestion and wholeness.
There are other motives that are extremely common — and much less effective.
Some examples:
“There is something wrong with me and I need to fix it.”
“If I don’t heal, I won’t be lovable / acceptable / worthy.”
Addiction to spiritual highs and peak states.
Using spirituality to gain power, authority, or control.
When integration is built on concealed self-rejection or unconscious grasping, it eventually stalls. True integration cannot unfold on a foundation of self-hatred — even a subtle one.
Aligning motive is often a process in itself, and it’s one of the most important parts of this work.
Digestive Fire: Why Capacity Matters
Once motive is aligned, the work turns toward capacity.
Integration requires the ability to digest experience — emotionally, energetically, psychologically.
In classical tantric language, this is sometimes referred to as digestive fire or life force.
All experience is fuel:
joy and grief
fear and desire
light and shadow
expansion and contraction
When the system has enough vitality and resilience, these experiences can be metabolized rather than suppressed or bypassed.
Without sufficient capacity, we numb, distract, spiritualize, or fragment.
Building a resilient energy body — alongside psychological skill — is essential. This is one reason I value classical tantra so deeply: it offers precise practices for cultivating the strength required to remain present with everything that arises.
Samskaras, Childhood, and Why Support Matters
In my lineage, we understand that children do not yet have the capacity to digest large emotional or relational experiences.
When something overwhelming happens early in life, it gets stored as a samskara — an unresolved imprint. A part of our aliveness gets bound there too.
Later, when we revisit these layers through integration work, it can feel as if we are suddenly that age again — flooded with fear, sadness, or terror.
At those moments, people often believe:
“I can’t handle this!”
But that belief belongs to the past, the young version of you that originally experienced the imprint.
With skilled support, the system can pendulate — moving between the younger, vulnerable layer and the present-day self that does have capacity now.
This is where integration becomes possible, through ability to hold presence.
What Integration Actually Looks Like in Practice
Integration is not dramatic most of the time.
It looks like:
sensing an emotion
noticing a trigger
recognizing the story attached to it
staying present without trying to fix or transcend it
This simple, attuned presence allows digestion to occur naturally.
As integration deepens:
stored energy is released back into the system
younger parts are reintegrated
leaks in the energy body repair
aliveness circulates more freely
egoic identities soften without effort
Nothing needs to be forced. What is no longer needed dissolves with surprising ease. :)
Living Awakening in Relationship and Daily Life
All of these aspects are interdependent.
As we wake up to our true nature, we love ourselves more fully.
As we love ourselves, we loosen our grip on false identities.
As those identities dissolve, reactivity softens.
Life becomes less about defending an image of self, and more about curiosity, care, and genuine connection.
Human relationships stop being a threat to awakening — and become one of its primary expressions.
This is integration.
Working With Me in Nosara
I work with people who are very familiar with depth — and want that depth to land in real life.
My work focuses on:
integration of spiritual insight
nervous system coherence
psychological and energetic digestion
relational clarity and embodiment
Sessions are available 1:1 in Nosara, Costa Rica, and (very limited) online.
If this speaks to where you are, you’re welcome to reach out via WhatsApp to explore what kind of support feels most aligned :) Can’t wait to meet you!
